Good mawning bishes.

It’s Friday. Not your day or my day but 24 hours of rolling in feathered hay. We’re all smoking the remnants of yesterday with blind question marks called fingers feeling the way. If you don’t know where you’re going, then wet your whistle and stay. When we get together, we crash like love boats with out shame. And hell no, we don’t fucking play. Like I said, it’s Friday, suck its toes or go away.

Munchies From Satan

If that doesn’t make your mouth water, then you’re probably an alien….or a lesbian.

By the way, according to my female friend, C, lesbians are fictional. And I quote,
“Lesbians are fictional. They can talk all that shit, but we all love the cock. They’re just in denial.”

Term Of The Day

Spunk Sprinkler Site

Definition: Where ever semen lands when shot out of its original place. i.e. the floor of God’s holy fishing pond.

Astronomer’s Hard-On

This is supposedly the Dark Tower in Scorpius, but all I see is a shitload of sequins, a little period blood and a bit of blackness in the middle as if it’s trying to tell me that the phallic black object in the middle is superior to my little white boy dick. And then I grip my shaft and quickly get over it.

Moving on,

Am I 2 Years Old?

In a week when seven new releases debuted in the Top 10 on the sales chart, Madonna came out as the clear winner. She debuted at #1 this week with her latest album, Hard Candy, by selling 280,000 copies. It is the artist’s seventh chart topping album, which is the second-most among all female artists. Only Barbra Streisand, with eight #1s, has more, according to Billboard. Madonna’s debut pushed Mariah Carey’s E=MC2 to #2 on the chart and Leona Lewis’ Spirit to #3.

Meanwhile, Lyfe Jennings’ new CD, Lyfe Change, entered the chart at #4 with 80,000 copies sold. Def Leppard debuted at #5 with Songs From The Sparkle Lounge, moving 55,000 units and earning the British group its highest-charting debut since 1992’s Adrenalize. This also marks the band’s 11th consecutive Top 20 album. The streak started with 1983’s Pyromania and every Def Leppard album has reached the Top 20 since then, says Billboard.

Madonna is number 1 on the charts and Def Leppard is number 5 this week.

Can’t you fucking Jehovah’s Witnesses get ANYTHING right? If so, we wouldn’t be seeing any of this because the world has ended. If I read that above paragraph one more time, I’m gonna accelerate the process myself by suicide or get drunk, beat off, and bitch about it to someone. Either or, I’m better off than some of you. And that’s not sad. It’s just true and sad. Which is much funnier. Shotgun shells anyone?

Weather

Today,

a high of christmas cheer in our bones due to the thunder of spring and its whore twin, summer. Oral sex exchange should be equal in all states. No hummer without eating pie. No warm supper if you’re shy. On Friday, I got no weed, but I do have that look in her eyes. And that’s not something you can fucking buy.

Tonight,

a low of squeaking beds and empty beer bottles on full throttle with minds leaking meds of natural oxytocin, my heart tightens as the door’s closing….behind that delicious ass of yours. I may not know no cures. But I’m gonna go fishing for love and lose all my fucking lures.

Freeball?

The weather is the freeball. Poetry is how my nuts swing and clank like a cuckoo cock clock in time to the countdown of my favorite time, she’s here o’ clock.

[poof]

clint