Good mawning bishes.

Today’s post will be light on news and heavy on complete bullshit. Kinda like everyday….but moreso on Friiiiiday.

Word Of The Day

Bingefucking- The act of having sex for hours at a time with or without small breaks. Over and over until there is no physical way possible to fuck anymore.

“He fucked me so hard, I had cerebral palsy for an hour after bingefucking.”

The synonym would be “sex with clint.” However, that’s not important. It’s the weekend. Control your breath fellas. Like when you’re about to go…..just breathe in and out kinda like pregnant women do before their vaginal monument is defaced forever by a human head. It will help you last longer. Me myself, I don’t do anything. I fuck so long cuz I love fucking. Can I get a AMEN?

My Penis Has A Twitter Account

Um Yum, a reader and fellow blogger, mentioned to me that I should get a twitter account for my penis. Which is really just a myspace status update for people who don’t use myspace I guess. And since I read her blog, she writes well, and it’s funny, I said fuck it and got my penis a twitter. You get daily crotch shots, clothed crotch shots(i know…i hate it too), and plenty of updates on EXACTLY how my penis feels at the moment. Penises aren’t as amazing as vaginas. However, a swinging dick is much more appealing than a swinging cunt. At least that’s what I heard.


Click here to find out what my penis is doing and/or thinking right now.

And if you have a twitter, you may follow my penis.

“Follow My Penis”
I agree with Um Yum, it does sound like a religious bumper sticker. And I need one.

How People Find My WordPress Blog

I have a mirror blog here, but it’s the same thing as what you’re reading now. The only difference is that the top viewed post are in the right column and it’s more organized than this shitty myspace one. Anyways….fuck all that.

Look what these bastards search for to find my blog…this is everyday, give or take a few.

These are terms people used to find your blog.
Today

blue man 4
pictures of no drinking and smoking 2
blue thongs 1
titty obsessions 1
child drinking bowl 1
hilarious pictures of kids 1
politician sniffs chair 1
skirt ripped off 1
i saw my teachers thong 1
colloidal silver users 1

I bet “skirt ripped off” and “i saw my teachers thong” could help each other out.
“titty obsessions”….really?
I didn’t know that was an obsession. My penis told me it was normal and he finds them quite nice to touch and paint.


Yesterday

blue man 12
disecting real dolls 2
“blue man” + “papa smurf” 2
my new breasts 2
the blue man 2
horny teachers 2
boswell chair sniffing 1
big boobs caught 1
scandal of tehran police boss 1
miley cyrus cumming 1

Some sly bastard has figured out that women just MIGHT show their new tits on their personal blog. I’d just like to say that I’m glad “my new breasts” found my blog. What’s ironic is that he can probably lick his own breasts.

And I’d just like to congratulate “Miley Cyrus Cumming.” Give it a few more years, oh hopeful one, and you’ll probably be able to buy a few dvds of this happening.

Her Daddy sold her soul to Disney.
Why wouldn’t she sell her soul to Cock after the first two kids?

Patience young grasshopper.

Weekend Pep Talk News Story

A 64-year-old Frenchwoman has been handed a 12-year jail sentence for castrating her partner while he was unconscious and then blaming her pet dog.

The victim, aged 39, was rushed to hospital in northern France in June 2005 with his penis sliced off.

His partner called the ambulance herself, saying the dog had bitten off and eaten his genitals.

Knocked out after taking a cocktail of alcohol and medicine, the man had no recollection of the incident. Seriously traumatised, he is currently in a psychiatric hospital.

Police never recovered either a weapon or the missing body part.

Now, let’s get out there and do some fucking people. It’s the goddamned weekend. What else are you gonna do? Eat? Pffttt. I’m on a poontang pie diet. It’s like the atkins diet, but with more flesh than actual meat.

Weather

Today,

a high of half fucked up and feeling fully loved and loaded like a building that was wired, but never exploded. Dear woman, you’ve been promoted. I announced it over all my oceans. You are now master of all motions. A blissful surrender to each other is what gave me the notion. I’ll shut up now. Drink the fucking potion.

Tonight,

a low of hands that anticipate as much as they appreciate what they will hold when the sky unfolds and the stars argue about position again. If God would put down the camera, she could join in the sin. But, she just keeps smiling cuz heaven doesn’t have this cheap of gin. Like a ghost child, she sings about where you’re going matters so much more than where you been.

Remember we’re all horny ghosts searching for the one that got away in yesterday’s life.

copacetically,
clint